The Town That You Live In
by kialajaray
Summary: 7 years. It had to happen sometime. Helga knew that she would have to go home eventually. Part 4 of Packing universe.


**There's no excuse whatsoever for it taking so long for me to publish this story. It's been over a year and the only thing that I can say is that school had been crazy and I'm sorry for the people who have waited so long for this. **

**As always this is a stand alone story but I do suggest that you read the previous Packing chapters. Some things are referenced in this story that make a little more sense if you read the others. At least if you read the first chapter, Packing.**

**On with the story!**

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><p>It still smelled the same. She had never realized it but Hillwood had a smell to it. It didn't smell like she imagined most inner-city neighborhoods to smell. Sure there was the scent of exhaust from the buses that passed, but there was also something else. Something that she couldn't describe but it caused hundreds of memories that she had forgotten to come back to her.<p>

Like the smell of the flowers in the living room that her mom had picked up earlier that week had her remembering Mrs. Vitello's flower shop when she had to work there for a week when she was seven to pay for the pots she broke after getting into one of her countless fights with Harold that was of course egged on by everyone else.

She wondered about them all these years and even more so since the moment her feet touched the ground at the Hillwood airport. What did they look like? Were they all still friends with each other? Did they miss her as much as she had missed them? Would they be excited to see her?

But none of them, not even Phoebe, knew that she was back.

She had asked her parents not to tell any of her childhood friends that she would be coming back to Hillwood. She said that it was because she wanted to surprise them but Helga knew that wasn't true. She was actually so nervous about seeing them again that she sure it bordered on terror and she couldn't honestly explain why either. She wanted to see them, she knew that. It was just that there was something that had kept her from leaving the house for the two weeks that she had been back in Hillwood.

She knew she couldn't stay inside forever. She had to see everyone eventually and it should be on her terms. And she didn't think that Phoebe would forgive her if she heard from someone else that she was back in town. Even though they hadn't talked in what seemed like forever she owed it to her best friend.

After telling her parents that she would be back later she left her house. Looking around it was just like it was all those years ago, some faces the same, some different. Children playing in the street, Mr. Harvey, the mailman, making his rounds, looking older than she remembered.

She knew that she should probably head to Phoebe's but she wanted to look around first. When she had gotten off the plane it was late and she was too tired to look around. Without thinking where her feet were taking her, she turned and walked down the street. Thankfully nothing drastic had happened to change the town, at least her part of it anyway. There were still homes and the only shops that she saw were locally owned ones. Some new ones where old ones used to be but for the most part everything was still the same.

She walked past Mr. Green's meat shop and heard him arguing with a customer over the price of something. She wondered if Harold still had his passion for working in the butcher shop like he had all those years ago. Mrs. Vitello was outside watering the flowers that she had on display and gave her a smile when Helga walked past her. She could tell that the woman recognized her and was trying to place a name to a face but after smiling back at her Helga kept walking, not wanting to start a conversation. There was going to be plenty of time for that. Right now she just wanted to get reacquainted with her town.

Even though it was the end of May the heat hadn't completely taken effect yet so when she passed Gerald Field she wasn't surprised to see some kids playing baseball. But what did surprise her was who was playing.

It was everyone in her gang of friends from Rhonda all the way down to Eugene. It wasn't hard to realize that it was them. Even though they all had matured and looked different it was easy for her to tell who everyone was, mainly by the positions they were playing and in Harold's case, the heckles that they were throwing. Thankfully she was on the opposite sidewalk and they didn't notice her abruptly stop and stare at them. Her eyes immediately searched out Phoebe and she smiled when she found her.

She was gorgeous. They all had turned out beautiful and handsome in their own way and that briefly had Helga wondering what kind of love triangles, squares, and whatever multi-sided shapes there were. Looking back to Phoebe she saw her covering second base. She hadn't gotten much taller but that was the only thing that had stayed the same about the girl who only vaguely looked like her nine year old genius friend. That was how everyone looked after she took the time look at all of them more closely. Only vague images of their younger selves and that caused Helga to wonder how much their personalities had changed also.

Sitting down on the bench that was reserved for people waiting to catch the bus so she would draw less attention to herself, she couldn't stop looking at all of them. Finally seeing them made her realize exactly how much she missed them, not just Phoebe, but all of them, more than she had ever realized. She wanted nothing more than to get up and give everyone of them a hug but she held back, still not able to bring herself to let them know of her presence. Looking over them again she let her eyes fall to the pitcher's mound where Arnold was getting ready to throw a ball and she felt...

Nothing.

For the first time in her life Helga was able to look at Arnold and didn't have the need to run behind a building and recite poetry and clutch a locket that she hadn't worn since she left Hillwood. Her last night before she boarded a plane to live with Olga she had taken the locket, and other mementos like pictures and locks of hair and buried it in her backyard inside a shoebox and she couldn't remember where she had buried them for the life of her.

And much to her relief she had no desire to look for it. She had known for the past few years that she had gotten over Arnold, but in the back of her mind she always worried that it was only the 'out of sight, out of mind' theory but seeing him and still feeling nothing felt wonderful. She had meant what she said to Lila. Leaving Arnold and Hillwood had given her the clean break she needed. She knew that if she had stayed she would still be enamored with Arnold and still have all the problems that she did when she was a child.

Searching the red head out she had to admit, without a drop of jealousy, that Lila was probably the most beautiful girl out of everyone. She wondered if anything had happened with her and Arnold. She hoped that something had. Lord knows that Arnold was crazy enough about her. So was every boy in their grade. Somehow Helga knew that Lila never lacked in boys who wanted to date her. That also made her wonder about Phoebe and Gerald. Everyone probably sighed in relief when they finally got together and she hoped that they had stayed together. She had always thought they were perfect for each and hopefully they still were.

Looking at all of them she saw that they were still as comfortable with each other as they had been seven and a half years ago. It seemed like high school and cliques hadn't changed them for the worse. If Rhonda Wellington Lloyd could play ball in what looked like designer jeans, they couldn't have changed that much.

"They don't bite you know," a voice from beside her said, making her jump out of her seat.

She had been so focused on soaking up the sight of her friends as much she could that she hadn't even realized someone was standing right next to her. Someone who she recognized the moment she looked at him. "Brainy," she asked even though there was no doubt in her mind that it was him. She hadn't even realized that he wasn't with the rest of them on the field.

He smiled at her. "I'm glad you still remember me. It's good to see you."

The words were barely out of his mouth before she yelled his name again and threw herself at him, giving him a huge hug. "Of course I remember you," she said against his neck.

They hugged each other for a full five minutes before she finally let him go. "I can't believe that you remember me" she told him beaming at him. "I'm surprised you even recognized me."

"How could I not recognize the first love of my life," he asked her laughing. "You're still beautiful as ever."

She blushed. She had actually just blushed by something Brainy had said. And in a good way. "Brainy, are you flirting with me," she asked.

"I don't know, is it working," he said which made Helga wonder exactly how much he had changed if he could flirt effortlessly like that. "I still have the ring I tried to give you if you ever want it."

"The one you got out of a vending machine," she said in disbelief. "That was years and years ago. How do you still have that ring?"

He shrugged. "Some things don't change," he said glancing to the field that her back was now facing.

She didn't miss his double meaning. "And some things do. Even things that you never thought could," she said firmly meeting his eye.

He raised a brow at her. "Well I'm glad to hear that. And don't worry. You won't have to worry about me sneaking up behind you. I am proud to say that I am no longer obsessed with you, Miss Helga G. Pataki."

Giving him another hug, she said, "I can't believe how much I've missed you. And even though my list of suitors is a mile long I shall still bemoan the fact that I lost my first one ever."

Laughing, he looked towards the field again. "I think we caught their attention."

Helga quickly looked behind her to see that he was right. They had all stopped playing their game to stare at them, no doubt to try and figure out who the mystery girl was who had just attacked their friend. "I think it was your scream that caught their attention even though that hug didn't hurt. Are you going to go and say hello?"

"That's what I was debating when you stuck up on me."

"What's to debate? If you were that excited to see me I can only see how much you want to see Phoebe."

"Do you think they would realize it was me if I just went back home" she mumbled.

"Well you could do that, but I was heading that way when I saw you, so they would ask who you were and I think they would be hurt if you didn't say hi."

Sitting back down on the bench she saw that the game had resumed, but not with very much enthusiasm, since everyone kept looking over their shoulders at them. Thankfully they weren't close and there was enough hair in her face that they couldn't tell who she was. She looked at Brainy as he sat down next to her on the bench and waited for her to say something.

"I didn't mean for me to see everyone again like this," she told him. "I wanted to see Phoebe first, then everyone else."

"Well now you can see them all at one and not have to deal with hugs and tears multiple times."

Giving a frustrated sigh, she pushed her hair out of her face. "I don't know."

"You're going to have to do it sooner or later. What's got you so afraid to say hi to people you've known your whole life?"

"I _knew_ them. I don't anymore. What if they don't like me?" The words slipped out of her mouth without her realizing it, but once she said them she finally understood that that's what had been holding her back. "We're all different people now. I'm nothing like what I used to be and I'm sure you guys aren't either. The only difference is that you all grew up together and I grew up somewhere else. They might not like the person I am now."

"We're your friends, Helga. Even if we haven't seen you in years we're still your friends. Just be yourself."

Without giving her time to reply, he stood up and took her hand and pulled her until she stood. "Stop being such a whuss Helga and go say hi to your friends."

They started to cross the street as he stilled pulled on her hand.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming. Don't pull my arm out of the socket." Everyone's attention had returned to them, waiting to see who the girl with Brainy was and she had to fight the urge to vomit. Focusing on something else, she whispered to Brainy, "Is there a reason why Shelly's glaring at me?"

Looking down at her he smirked. "We broke up a few days ago."

Helga snatched her hand out of his. The _last_ thing she needed was for them to assume that she and Brainy had something going on.

Everyone on Gerald Field had left their positions and came to the edge of the field to wait for them and Helga had felt like she was going to a sacrificial ceremony. Shaking her hair back into her face she took several deep breaths when they reach the others.

"Hey guys. I found us that other catcher we've been needing."

Forcing herself to look up she said, "Hi everybody."

All of the faces in front of her looked confused and she could tell that none of them recognized her. She was about to speak when a small body with dark hair yelled her name and barreled into her.

She fell onto the field and thankfully not the concrete with Phoebe on top of her, hugging the breath out of her. It took a few seconds but she was finally able to sit up and hug Phoebe back. "Hey Pheebs. I missed you."

Phoebe started to say something but it was drowned out by everyone talking at once. Some exclaiming her name in shock, some telling Phoebe to let go of her so they could get their hellos in, and some just staring at her.

Gerald tried to lift Phoebe off of her and in a tone that Helga would have never thought she was capable of Phoebe said, "Gerald Johanssen, if you touch me again I'll break your hand. I have not seen my best friend in over seven years and I'm going to hug her as long as I damn well please and you're all going to wait your turn."

Everyone was shocked silent and Helga was able to hear what Phoebe had been trying to say over everyone else. "I can't believe that you didn't tell me you were coming home. Why didn't you tell me! I haven't talked to you in months. I'm really glad you're back." Phoebe said it all in a rush and surprised everyone further by bursting into tears, which of course caused Helga to cry right along with her.

Helga knew that they probably thought that she and Phoebe were crazy but at that moment she honestly didn't care at all. She finally had her best friend back she was going to cry and hug her as long she wanted to.

"Uhh…shouldn't we do something," someone, who she was pretty sure was Curly, say above them.

"Didn't you hear her man," Gerald said, whose voice, other than getting deeper hadn't changed. "I don't want my hand in a cast. She was serious. I'm not touching either one of them."

Wiping her face she eased away from Phoebe. "We have to get up Pheebs," she said with a watery laugh. "I think we scared them."

"I don't care," Phoebe said, hugging her tighter for a few more seconds then finally letting her go.

After she and Phoebe stood it was a mass of confusion of hugs and kisses from everyone. Harold lifted her off the ground when he hugged her, Rhonda gave her a kiss on each cheek, Curly bowed over her hand and kissed it. Shelly gave her a hug, even if it was a little stiff. She had to make sure to tell the girl that nothing was going on between her and Brainy later. Lila threw her arms around her neck saying "It's ever so good to see you."

There was only one thing that could have ruined the moment if she had let it. When it came Arnold's turn to hug her, the group noticeably got quieter and Helga could just imagine the looks on their faces. Ignoring them, she hugged Arnold just like she did the other and let him go to hug Gerald.

When she looked back on it, it was fairly obvious that she had a crush on Arnold and she knew that they would realize it one day. She was sure they expected her to do something dramatic like throw herself into his arms and declare her undying love for him or something equally stupid but she wanted everyone to know from the beginning that that wouldn't be an issue.

After the hugs came the questions. "How have you been?" "What school do you go to?" "When did you get back?" "How come you didn't come back sooner?" "How's your sister?" "Why was Brainy the only one who knew you were coming back?"

That one was from Shelly. Shooting a glance at Brainy, she saw him roll his eyes. "He didn't know I was coming back. I was sitting on the bench watching you guys play and he recognized me and said hi."

"Who cares if he knew," Phoebe said, still not having come down from her high yet. "You're here and that's all that matter. We're all going to graduate together now and I can't be any more excited."

Helga opened her mouth to reply but Harold spoke before she did. "How about we play some ball so we can see if she's still got it."

"Oh, I still got it," she told him. "The question is, do you?"

"Junior varsity and a championship. You?"

"Varsity and _three_ championships," she shot back.

"Enough talk," Gerald cut in. "Time to play ball.

As Phoebe ate her pizza later that day at the local pizzeria she still couldn't believe it.

After all these years she honestly thought she would never see Helga again. The fact that she finally had her best friend back made up for the fact that she hadn't told her she was coming.

Looking over to where Helga was playing a racing game with Harold, she was glad to see that Helga was happy. Genuinely happy. Growing up with Mr. and Mrs. Pataki wasn't easy for Helga, everyone knew that. But being Helga's best friend, Phoebe saw more than the angry side of Helga that resulted from the neglect from her parents.

She saw the sad side that Helga would rather die than admit to. No matter how many awards she won or A's she made she could never measure up to their holy grail that was their older daughter.

Phoebe thought it was a horrible idea to live with the source of her problems but she could see now that it was probably what had saved Helga.

She knew that she owed Olga for the changes that she had brought about in Helga.

Phoebe was still lost in thought when Lila came and sat down next to her.

Following her gaze, Lila said, "I'm really glad that she's back."

Coming from anyone else Phoebe wouldn't have believed that comment for a minute if they were in Lila's situation but the girl was truly glad that Helga was back.

Helga had told her a long time ago that she confessed her feelings for Arnold to Lila and if Phoebe was honest with herself she would admit that she would be watching Helga like a hawk anytime she was around Arnold if he were her boyfriend, but Lila didn't seem the least bit worried.

"Do you think that she came back for him," Lila asked softly as they watched Helga, who was now playing against Arnold after beating Harold in the arcade game.

Looking in the same direction, Phoebe answered honestly. "I don't know. She's not the Helga we used to know anymore. I really couldn't say if she came back for Arnold or not."

Still staring at them Lila said, "I thought that she had when I first saw her but now I'm not so sure"

"But what if she did come back for him," Phoebe couldn't help but asking. "What are you going to do then?"

Looking away from them, Lila sighed. "I always knew that she would come back one day. But I never figured out what I would do about it."

"Are you going to fight for Arnold if she decides to go after him," Phoebe couldn't help but ask.

"Of course I will," Lila said immediately. "I love Arnold more than anything in the world. I'm just not sure if that's more than she loves him."

Before Phoebe could comment Arnold and Helga came to the table.

Sitting down across from them Helga said, "What are you two doing just sitting here?"

"Nothing," Lila said, smiling at her. "Just talking. Are you having fun?"

"She should be," Arnold said, standing by Lila at the booth. "She cheated playing me and Harold."

Sticking her tongue out at him, Helga said, "I can't help it if my brother-in-law has an obsession with Need for Speed."

Rolling his eye, Arnold replied, "Yeah, yeah. I still say you cheated." Turning to Lila he said, "I'm going to get some more pizza do you want something?"

"A slice of pepperoni, please?"

"No problem," Arnold told her as he bent down and gave her a kiss on the lips.

Phoebe couldn't help herself and quickly looked at Helga to gauge her reaction but she was surprised to see her smiling towards the couple without any sadness or jealously.

After Arnold walked away the three girls fell silent.

It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, at least not to Phoebe, but it was a silence where everyone involved knew things needed to be said.

"You took care of him," Helga said to Lila, still with a small smile on her face.

Phoebe was confused about Helga's comment when Lila responded. "I did. Or at least I tried my best too."

"You two look really happy with each other. I'm glad that you got together."

"Thank you," Lila said and Phoebe could tell that Lila was waiting for Helga to drop the bomb on her but Helga didn't say anything else after that.

This silence _was_ uncomfortable.

"Now things are awkward," Helga said in her always straight forward way.

"Don't worry," she continued looking directly into Lila's eyes. "I didn't come back for him."

"Then what did you come back for?"

"I grew up here? My parents? You guys? There's plenty of reasons why I came back, but he wasn't one of them. I didn't come back with a big scheme to make him mine."

"Are you sure," Phoebe found herself asking. She had stayed silent through their conversation because she felt that it wasn't her place to say anything.

While they were growing up, she and Helga had never really talked much about the blonde's feelings for Arnold but Phoebe knew they were there and she wasn't so sure that all of Helga's feelings could ever be completely gone.

"I'm sure," Helga told her.

Neither girl had the chance to respond because Arnold walked up with the food.

They all made small talk until Arnold stood up and held his hand out to Lila.

"I do believe your favorite song to dance too is playing."

Blushing, Lila said, "No one else is dancing."

"So," he said, pulling her out of the booth and towards the open area of the restaurant.

Helga smiled after them and turned towards Phoebe to find her staring at her with a searching look.

"Were you telling the truth," Phoebe asked before Helga could say anything. "You can tell me. I've kept your secret before."

Helga smiled at Phoebe. She knew that Phoebe would keep any secret that she may have but this wasn't one that she would have to anymore.

"I wasn't lying Pheebs. I told you and Lila the truth. I don't have any nefarious plants to take Arnold away from her."

"Look at them," she said gesturing towards the couple who were still dancing. "Even if I did want Arnold, what kind of person would I be to try and take him away from someone he obviously loves so much?"

"But you were-"

"We were nine Pheebs. Nine. That was seven years ago. I'm not the same person I was back then and who's to say that he's the same person that I loved when we were kids?"

"Who says your feelings won't come back after being around him more?"

Helga looked away at that and Phoebe felt her heart sink. She didn't know what she would do if she had to choose between Lila and-

"I have something to tell you, Phoebe," Helga said, still not looking at her.

By Helga's tone Phoebe knew it had nothing to do with Arnold and her feelings, or lack thereof, for him.

"Oh God. You're dying aren't you? That's why you came back, isn't it? You have cancer or something and you came to say goodbye to everyone."

Helga's jaw dropped as she looked at Phoebe, then burst into laughter.

"I don't remember you being such a drama queen," she said when she finally stopped laughing. "I'm not dying. I just came back to see everyone."

"Then what do you have to tell me?"

Taking a deep breath, Helga looked at Phoebe and said, "I'm not here to stay."

She saw the moment that her words sank in on Phoebe's face.

"What do you mean you're not staying? Why not?"

All the words that Helga had planned on saying about why she wasn't staying in Hillwood stuck in her throat. She could see the hurt and tears in her best friend's dark eyes. This was probably going to be the hardest conversation she ever had.

"This isn't my home anymore, Pheebs."

"But what about what you just said to Lila? You grew up here, your parents and friends are here. What about that?"

"That's why I came back but it's not going to make me stay." She hurried with her explanation when she saw that her words hurt Phoebe even more. "What I mean is that all of you are here will always be a part of my life and Hillwood will always be my hometown but it stopped being a home for me a long time ago. I think it did the moment I stepped on the plane to go live with Olga."

"It could be again," Phoebe said.

"No it couldn't Pheebs. Not for me. I was never happy here. I was an angry little girl who was in love with someone who would never love her back."

"But that's not who you are anymore," Phoebe said, pleading a little. "Everyone can see that."

"And I'm glad that you all can," Helga said. "But Hillwood seems like a lifetime ago for me."

"Bitterness and bad memories. That's what I would think of when I would think of Hillwood. Even though my relationship with my parents is better, I can't forget who I was when I lived here. Over emotional, neglected, violent, depressed. That's why it took me so long to come back."

"You were a good person," Phoebe objected. "You weren't perfect Helga, no one is, but you were a good person. Don't think that you weren't.

Helga gave her a sad smile. "I know that. Now. But I'm terrified of being that person again. And no matter what you or anyone else tried to do I would always worry about it. I'm happy living in Missouri with Olga and her family. That's where I belong now."

By the time Helga finished Phoebe had tears running down her face. "I just got you back and now I'm going to lose you again," she said trying to sniff back her tears.

Getting up, Helga moved to Phoebe's side of the booth and hugged her, fighting the stinging in her own eyes. "You can't lose something that was never lost in the first place. I'm still your best friend and you're still mine. And you're always going to be. Just because I won't live here doesn't mean that's going to change. And I'm going to visit so much you're not even going to get the chance to miss me."

Taking a deep breath, Phoebe let it out slowly and wiped the tears off of her face. "Just don't take seven years to come and visit again, alright?"

"I promise. And you have to visit me too. There's so much I want to show you. The babies. My friends. My softball team. I really do love it there Pheebs and I want you to see why."

"Just don't forget about me."

"That's never going to happen. Come on. Wipe your face and let's get back to having fun. If Gerald thinks I made you cry he might try and kill me."

Laughing, Phoebe wiped off the last of her tears as she and Helga stood up from the booth. Hugging her for the hundredth time that day she said, "I love you, Helga."

"I love you too, Pheebs."

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><p><strong>I hoped you guys liked this. It was the most important one to me. I really wanted this series to be about relationships important to Helga and Phoebe is the most important one. Friendship and love is the very core to the Hey Arnold! characters. I've written and re-written this story so many times and I'm not completely happy with it but I think that it came out really well. <strong>

**Was it a surprise that Helga wasn't back for good? I tried to make it a surprise but I'm not sure if it actually came off that way. **

**I've had this idea in my head for so long that I can't even remember if I had originally intended for her to stay in Hillwood or not but I know in my heart that she's not meant to be there. **

**I didn't want to make Lila the bad guy. Trust me, it would have been easy for her to be and in at least two previous drafts she was, but I didn't want that for Lila. **

**I don't plan on having any more chapters in the Packing series and if I did I wouldn't say anything because I'm not a consistent writer and I wouldn't want you guys to have to wait a year for another chapter.**

**Please review and give me your honest opinion on this last chapter in the Packing series. For some reason this really meant a lot to me and I want to know what you guys think. Thank you!**

**kialajaray**


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